Oddly enough, it's all falling together now. I had a revelation in the shower the other day, which was quite profound, and I won't get into the entirety of it, but the main point was: Maybe this time was just to prepare you.
Wow. This came like a thunderbolt at a time (in the shower, actually) when I was worried about money, funds, job, relationships -- in a word: everything. This thought came to me -- one of calm, and the idea that my supply would be met, and that all of this time was not a waste: it was preparation for things to come.
A few people have commented that they see the change in me, and I see the change in myself. I'm not sure if I could actually put a name to it, but I know, in the deepest part of me, I have changed. My faith has grown stronger, my spiritual sense more clear, and my trust in God more implicit.
I have a job interview tomorrow. I'm not nervous. I might not get it, but for once I'm not worried. In the past few days -- few hours! -- this demonstration of my path has unfolded so clearly before me that I know that if this is not the right step, the next one will appear. I have heard the voice behind me saying "this is the way, walk ye in it." (Isaiah 30:21) and my path is clear.
Who knows what my next step will be - and after this time in the wilderness, I do not presume to know what it will be! - but I am sure it will be exactly what I need, at exactly the right time.
p.s. mom took this photo at the japanese gardens in s.f. I love it.
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