4.06.2008

nothin' but the rain

can't you see that it's just rainin'
ain't no need to go outside

It is actually raining tonight, so Jack Johnson seems apropos.  It's a strange feeling, having rain last for a day -- or days.  Maybe it's the Californian in me, that would always hope that the short bursts of rain we would get would last for the day.  

Of course, they never did, but now that I'm in the East, I still marvel at the fact that a rainstorm could possibly last for so long.  There's still this excited thrill that it still rains, after hours, and deep down, I hope it continues. 

I've been relatively spiritual and introspective recently, and frankly, I see no reason to stop now.  I need this catharsis (or something) of writing it all down and putting a spotlight on my life, because if I don't, I feel I won't see what I need to see to move forward. 

Today I'm working with this idea of patience.   I'm always working with patience.  I'm a very impatient person.   When the family decided to have "spiritual missions" for each trip, everyone picked lovely things like "seeing the Christ in others," but I had no such poetic flights.  I am impatient, ergo I chose patience as my spiritual mission.  This was back in 2005, and I'm still impatient, so it's still my mission.  Theoretically.  

Cue the present day, and my patience is being tried daily.  It's not for bad things either: it's things that I need to be patient and trust that someone else (God) knows my way better than I do.  But I'm still impatient.  I would like to, for example, have a job right now.  I would also like to know where I will live in a few months.

In the past few days, thanks to a well-timed phone call from Mom, I stood back and re-evaluated.  I started -- actually, inadvertantly! -- to really see the happiness and joy that comes from waiting to see something unfold. 

Perhaps most apparent to me, I followed the "calm, strong currents of true spirituality" (S&H 99:23) and let quite a bit of anxiety about relationships go.  I'm looking situations in the eye, and instead of fretting over the next step, declaration, or move, I'm finding myself pleasantly surprised and genuinely pleased with the gradual advances.

Also, after being a bit petrified about where I would hang my hat come June 1st, I just had a lovely housing opportunity arise, which would mean living with wonderful, sweet friends, and cooking delicious meals together.  What bliss!

I don't know where any of these will lead, but being accepting of the pace (for once!), and enjoying the journey certainly makes it more lovely.

wander

2 comments:

Natalie said...

*hug*

Vallerie said...

Good for people to know.