3.30.2008

cherry blossom-time

It's late March, which means it's time for the cherry blossoms.  It's also my one-year anniversary of living in DC.  Technically that was sometime in February, but I associate it with cherry blossoms, so now it is.

Still living in a transitory state.  Moving in two months, looking for a job, waiting for graduate schools.  Is it too much just to want to settle down and live in the same place for longer than 9 months?  For the past 6 years, that's what I've been doing, and at this point it's simply... exhausting.

I've avoided lots of the trappings of homes (couches, dressers) because of the moving (although I have my stand mixer which is not really conducive to nomadism).  I'd like to have a place where I can have dinner parties, and movie nights, and cook for people. 

This sounds more melancholy than I intended.  I meant to talk about the beauty of cherry blossoms and how I found this retro-woodcut print at the Sackler and I think it's simply beautiful.   I was struck that I think Gramps would have loved it, though I'm not sure if that's because he would love the print itself (of course, discussion of the view from the bathroom of the Georgetown house would ensue!), or what it symbolizes: this new chapter in my life, living on my own, seeing this new spring. 

I wish he were here.  It's been a hard year -- and for that I'm glad he wasn't around to see -- but I wish I could have shown him this city, not just as DC, which he knew, but as my town.   

I still have a letter he wrote to me when I turned 21, and I just re-read it.

The little picture on the table in my bedroom was taken when you were about 1 year.  It is a favorite of mine as you project such happiness and wonder, sort of like you just can't wait to see what lies ahead.

You have a wonderful sense of family and such appreciation for all they do for, and with, you and Claire.  This seems so natural to you, but I can't stress how important this is over the years to come.  So many families find this really difficult so what a blessing we have in our closeness and mutual support.

As you contemplate graduation that ole devil anxiety will try to intrude, saying "What will I do now?"  Well, as Mrs E. says, "Stand porter at the door of thought --."  It has no right to enter your mental home for you have a God given right to know the next step even if it seems remote at present.  And remember to look for opening doors for one will open at each stage of your experience and more often than not at the same time that a door is closing.

Tomorrow, I'm going to see the cherry blossoms.

2 comments:

amanda donahue said...

what a beautiful post, em. its amazing how gramps finds his way in so many places, events, and situations in our lives. just incredible..

JKB said...

The tears are rolling down my cheeks... I miss your Gramps too. He would have loved to explore "your town" with you... nothing would have made him happier.